Further apologies, blah blah blah...but seriously, readers, I do apologize for having fallen behind in the recaps. I'm trying to catch up as best I can now. Part of my issue is with abc.com and their beta player, which is often non-cooperative at best.
Previously on: COUNTDOWN TO ARMAGEDDON, APPARENTLY. Doppelgangers abound, faith is in short supply, and all Hank and Riley want out of this crazy world is some answers, y'all.
What I will stay about this episode is: it's a very transitional one, it's like you can hear the struts of the story's superstructure snapping into place in most of the scenes. By this writing, having watched all the available episodes now, I believe Show definitely picks up momentum after this episode.
Eight is forever a line
without end
the worst sort of murder
is that of a friend.
So there are better murders, comparatively? Okay...
In The Year of Der Fuehrer 1938, Sterm is holding a funeral for his friend on the not-yet-a-subsicle but puts a stop to the proceedings by reminding the crew they came to the Faroe Islands in the services of a Far HIgher Agenda, and yeah, he does talk in caps. Fast forward and the Unholy Trinity of Hank, Laila and Riley are landing and discussing The Marble of Significance which of course assists them in their anvilicious dialog because everything has to do with belief, of course.
Flashback Time! Riley and Molars are in the guise of their past selves: the happily married couple Theo and Becca, literally the night he is going to be extracted from his deep cover via plane explosion. She's all girly and stuff and the entire scene is about reproduction, it's giving me a headache, that's how obvious it is. Back to the present day, White Vincent is once more needling at his colleague: "Five years in the care of the Pyrates has done interesting stuff to you, Molars," and I gotta wonder just what the hell the two of them were doing before this whole ridiculous plot shifted into high gear and what event precipitated that and is WV just so angry that he can't deal with anyone, or is Molars a special case for his scorn? WV gives hints that his beef with Hank is just part of a larger picture.
Hank's parents have a dither back at the homestead...and then when his dad rhetorically wonders where his lab rat offspring could possibly be, the scene shifts very convenient to the answer. OH HAI FAROE ISLANDS! On the phone with Arron (who gets the best line of the ep: "You're not gonna believe this, but apparently we publish some sort of magazine?" Oooh, snarky and meta, well-played Show!) Hank wants to know the connection between his doppleganger and the Faroe Islands, so he asks them to get in touch with "your Nazi friend." The Unholy Trinity splits up, and Hank and Laila take shelter. Mommy Locust is in a clinic somewhere, receiving updates, and she is not pleased. They give her a purposely hammy line which sort of ruins the progress made by the previous one: "Act like the end of the world is coming...because it just may be."
And...cue credit sequence! That was nine minutes this time, a bit too long.
Meanwhile, Riley is thwarted again by the boss who hates her, and WV is attempting to ascertain where the ship needs to land in order to find their way to the burial site based on how the sub made its approach.
Flashback time! The First Mate (I'm assuming) chronicles how Sterm deviated from the original plan, working out his penance, I guess. Then we're back with Laila and her Catholic Valium: working the rosary. She's freaked and has many FEELINGS! Hank equivocates by saying there are "things beyond our comprehension" but admits he's smart enough to know he knows nothing, and just then his lab rat brother calls and bets him they'll end up at the burial site at the exact same time. WV is the only one who knows how Sterm wronged Dietrich but he appears to be hell-bent (uh, sorry) on making Hank pay for it. Apparently seeing Sterm frozen in the subsicle wasn't enough for him, WV assures Hank he will kill him this time.
Riley had ninja'ed her way onto the ship and finds Molars' security badge just hanging around (along with those of the rest of the crew).
Nazi Collector Extraordinaire drops by the Media Empire and there's a lot of blah blah blah is there something you're not telling me? The main purpose of this scene - besides making him extremely creepy - is so the Cute Squad can discover there are two doppelgangers.
The boat is getting underway and Riley finds Molars, and he doesn't explain himself, just tells her he's not going with her. Riley begins to possibly comprehend that she is closer to Hank than she'd like to be, and then Molars raises the alarm and it's been fun, baby, but you've got to go. Gunfire, running, you know the drill.
Hank and Laila get their puzzle-fu on with the marble, and then race to the harbor to exposition with Riley: "The only thing I saw, was a different man where my husband used to be." UH...YOU MEAN LIKE AN OPERATIVE? LIKE, HANK ISN'T THE ONLY ONE WHOSE ENTIRE LIFE WAS A LIE?
Nazi Collector Extraordinaire is attempting to utilize the intimidation strategy of his forefathers, or whatever, but the Cute Squad just acts dumb, although Arron gets another good line: "Yeah you know as journalists, we're not so good with the showing." They show him the door as he continues to prissily threaten them. Like I said, dude is creepy.
While Riley cries in the shower, Hank and Laila have a numerology moment and she realizes that the design inside the marble is that of a Passion flower, the physical structure of which has been interpreted by Catholics to be wholly representative of their symbolism. Arron informs him that history is literally repeating itself in that WV has a doppelganger as well. While they're expositioning, Laila gets a call from Reggie (identified as "Omega" on her caller ID) and she sneaks out to call him back, thus giving him another chance to guilt her into carrying out the Shepherds' agenda. Hank will receive the handy-dandy results of the Cute Squad's research, of course. Laila fails to tell Hank about the call, but Riley emerges at a convenient point to deliver unto them some of Theo's plant-fu.
And then it occurs to me: he's a geneticist! I guess? Probably?
Anyway, so she decides she's going to join their Rendezvous with Destiny and as she exits the room we can see Laila thinking, "Yeah thanks there, Third Wheel. On the other hand you've got a gun, so..."
Meanwhile, Mommy Locust is in church with her pet Messenger Boy and one of her heavies comes to give her another status report. After we endure her pious blathering for a couple minutes, she uses the Holy Water chalice like her personal fingerbowl and decides to pay a visit to the offices of Modern Skeptic.
Rachel gets a call from Hank's dad and she's being cagey, and he gets frustrated with her, leaving a cryptic message. Back in the North Sea, WV and his crew figured out their anchorage as the Unholy Trinity make their way into the woods, and Riley conveniently informs her driver that the only Passion flower they're going to find is a chapel. They have a guarded conversation about belief, and Riley gets in a good shot at Laila: "I know what I believe, I know my faith, I also know I have no business trying to sell it to anybody." Just as she delivers this little salvo, a road sign comes loose in the wind and nearly decapitates Hank as it slices through the windshield. Whoa.
More Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign, as Arron just happens to pull up the latest weather radar which shows a perfect storm scenario happening in...you guessed it: the Faroe Islands. Rachel is all, "Dude, let's bail," and Mommy Locust slithers in and begins acting all villian-y with her pious blatherings. Hank's dad shows up and has a reunion with the boss' daughter and decides to offer his services once more.
In The Year of Der Fuehrer 1938, Sterm and his cannon fodder are on their crazy mission to bury the box as in the present day WV and Molars follow in their (muddy) footsteps. WV is clearly being delusional, thinking Hank is Sterm. Meanwhile the Unholy Trinity makes it to the deserted chapel and begins looking around as Laila suffers daddy issues looking at a stained glass image of Our Lord Jesus Christ (And he's got short hair? Guess the Danes don't like a shaggy savior.). She freaks out again, arguing with Hank, who has to state the obvious: "What happened out there on the road, that was a sign: a literal sign, made of metal, torn off by the wind."
WV and Molars find a rock in the ground at the coordinates inscribed C. Fidelis...uh, like Sterm would have time to carve something in the middle of that storm? Clearly WV's research is lacking. But they decide it is indeed The Place. Back at the chapel, Hank and Riley are Multer-and-Scullying and Hank realizes that the same colors in the Marble of Significance are shining down upon a statue of Our Lord...who is missing an eye.
A storm is coming, birds are freaking, the Pyrates team finds a box in the ground.
So instead of taking the plank out of his own eye, Hank puts the Marble of Significance into Jesus' eye and answers that age-old question Do you see what I see? The Marble of Significance is part of a kaleidoscope which when appropriately placed allows the one who looks through it to see the marker where the Holy Plot Device is buried. Okay that was a cool puzzle, Show, I gotta tell ya.
People are digging...WV makes a comment about permafrost, Molars thinking that may be the reason why the Holy Plot Device was buried there...neither side has to dig for long...but we are shown the Pyrates discovery first, and it is not the True Cross, but the True Heart. Sterm writes a touching eulogy for Dietrich, placing it in the pocket of the uniform clothing the perfectly preserved body. WV is, understandably, freaking out at the sight of his doppelganger...that's gotta fuck with your head, am I right?
Wind is whipping, birds are flocking, Hank and Riley open the box to find...frozen beetles! And of course the Pyrates crash their party, so I guess WV wins the bet. Hank declares Game Over and Molars is all, "Uh no, gimme the bugs." He points a gun at them and Riley looks like someone kicked her puppy.
The good (scoring) stuff: there are some lovely cues in this episode, like the one used during Riley's shower scene. I also liked the one during Laila's phone call, the way it built very gently to the dramatic swell before the cut to commercial. Same with the scene where Dietrich's grave is discovered and the True Cross is uncovered. There's something in the church scene which reminds me of another score, but I'm not sure which one.
