Yes it's back! (sort of)... I'd like to thank all those far and wide who have read these recaps and (hopefully) enjoyed them, as they have received much traffic on the blog. I do plan to finish the series, but it takes a lot of time and effort to write these, as anyone who recaps movies and TV shows online (either in website. blog, or podcast form) can attest. The Knowing The Score series is fun to do, just slow to be posted, is all. But I truly appreciate your interest as always.
Previously on: COUNTDOWN TO ARMAGEDDON, APPARENTLY.
So the Faroe Islands isn't necessarily the best of vacation destinations if you're looking for the True Cross. Plus, a random road sign tried to kill Hank. Harsh! And the Shepherds make a mean kaleidoscope.
Nine is the number of judgment
the measure of our soul.
When all secrets come to light
the truth shall take its toll.
Well duh!, Vincent! That's pretty much the whole premise of this show, right?
In the year of Der Fuhrer, 1937: Sterm is asked to participate in Project Zero Hour. Take a drink for the Godwin-citing inclusions of the phrase "Perfect German" and the playing of Wagner. Sterm and Dietrich find themselves attempting to utilize irony as they donate their blood for the cause. But is there juice and cookies?
Back on the island, the Unholy Trinity is being held at gunpoint while the Pyrate minions collect the True Cross-munching beetles, and as Riley is all FEELINGS OH GOD NO WHY?! at Molars, he is as cold as the North Sea...but no, wait, he says he'll shoot them, but he totally doesn't. It's the old bait-and-switch while Riley cries, "You remember who we were, I can see it in your eyes!" "I remember," Molars replies. He warns her not to follow him, oh yeah, like that's gonna work. Later, as they're all warm and safe in some waystation, Laila realizes her fear was misguided, and Jacinda has a moment of slippage where her normal speaking voice comes through, although I understand it could have been played deliberately. Because Riley is the worst listener ever, she's going after Molars. She makes a reference to her and Hank being alike in their predicaments, but she is still trapped in her delusion.
Back on the ship, Molars is science-ing, WV shows up with his usual obnoxious flirting, and Molars shoots him down with the observation that "you're just a hired gun, and you're about two days away from getting your pink slip." He has to invoke Mommy Locust to put an end to the pissing match.
Hank and Laila are on conference call with the Cute Squad, who regretfully inform him Hank's dad went off with the Pied Piper of the Apocalypse, aka Mommy Locust. Oh crap! Ever helpful, Laila states the obvious about it not being over after all.
We flashback to A Moment of Destiny in 1963, where Hank's dad is being headhunted for Project Zero Hour due to his "unusual interests" in molecular biology. The recruiter is, of course, Melanie's father. Hank's dad is all, "Yeah but, Albania," and Melanie's dad says, "But we'll let you do your crazy secret experiments!" In cross-cut to the present day, Hank's dad is in the possession of a file cache inscribed with an ouroboros, and being told that he is the only one who can finish the project.
I realize now there's a difference between when the title sequence starts online as opposed to broadcast television. I watched this episode on TV and it was at five minutes, which is probably the norm. So online the sequence starts at eleven minutes and that just feels too long. It's interesting how ingrained these little things are in regards to viewer reaction.
Meanwhile, somewhere in the North Sea, mutiny is a-brewing as the crew wonders what is going on with all the hazmat stuff, and gives WV an ultimatum. Guys, that's so not the right decision, sorry to say. WV calls Mommy Locust who tells him to clean it up. Hank and Laila manage to track down Roland, who stonewalls them with all kinds of obfuscation and gruff retort, the kind that historically silly fools employ when they believe they've got a handle on the situation.
I also get now that Arron is meant to be the metaesque commentator on the narrative superstructure and what-have-you as he tells Hank, "This is insane...why is everyone in your life hiding some secret from you?" Good question, dude, but uh...that's it, that's the show right there, as they say in memeland. The Scoobies split up with the respective research assignments as Hank and Laila visit the Galliston homestead. Hank wants to find his mom and so they begin searching for clues again, and Laila is having FEELINGS, nostalgic for their lies-all-lies fake marriage and Hank makes it clear that he forgave but he didn't forget being married to the Lying Liar Who Lies. Remembering that Roland was nifty with code as well, between the two of them they figure out the puzzle of where Rose ran off to, as Hank finds a book with a hollowed-out hiding place containing a gun and a cellphone.
Somewhere in the North Sea an insertion team is boarding what is now a ghost ship: the entire crew is dead, but White Vincent and Molars are gone. It's noted by a member of the team that once again Riley's obsession is putting others at risk. Gee, ya think?
Hank and Laila show up at the safe house where Roland and Rose had been hiding. Mom is rather frazzled - she keeps wanting to make tea - and Hank finally gets her to focus enough to start Expositioning Or Else. Rose relates the story of Project Zero Hour, she and Roland met while working for The 41 Trust in Albania, Roland was your typical arrogant doctor, Closer To God than anyone else. He actually says, "I have a moral obligation to the future of science." SCIENCE! And because it's 1968, he can fully enact his white male privilege by responding to her opinion of his work, "Don't condescend, a clever nurse is still a nurse."
(Oh wait a minute, doctors are still saying that today...never mind.)
Their dialog is a bit anachronistic, however, even with the proper cultural orientation, but we are given a first glimpse of poor old WV, already outcast as a failure of the project. Rose reveals to Hank that, yes, he is the first successful lab rat, er, gestational cloning of a human being. Understandably, Hank freaks out. Laila stops lying long enough to be supportive in an appropriate fashion. Rose discusses his birth, and in flashback we see he is perfectly normal, but still just Subject 352 in the overall scheme of things. Roland and Rose, realizing this perfect baby will be dissected to discover why the process finally worked, plot to rescue him from his lab rat future and disappear into the world at large, forever hiding from the greater agenda of The 41 Trust. Mom tells Hank he's got to run and never look back, but Hank gets all Quixotic and declares he's going to rescue the only dad he ever knew. D'awwww....kinda has a nice symmetry to it, non?
Meanwhile, the Cute Squad has their research-fu going on and Girl Genius has an epiphany, as you do when you're a genius.
The investigation aboard the ghost ship reveals the crew was deliberately gassed, there is no actual hazmat contamination, the use of the canisters and so forth was just a ruse to keep them from being too curious about the cargo. Looking through the lanyards left behind, we see ID for both WV and Molars, and cut to some other facility where the two are in a ultraviolet-lighted lab, WV is, in his passive-aggressive petulant way, demanding answers. Mommy Locust informs him he is a failed experiment but won't reveal the plan, and he tries wheedling to be allowed to remain. He's never really grown-up, poor White Vincent.
Roland is taken to the Lab of Villainy as Mommy Locust knows he is close to discovering the correct sequence so that the plot device, er, Final Solution or, you know, whatever, can move forward. He manages to get a message to Rose that he's being moved.
Hank breaks the news of his lab rat origins to the Cute Squad and they are, understandably, freaked out. That's gotta fuck with your head, am I right? They theorize about WHY someone would want to clone humans, way back when, and Arron lets them in on the significance of the bugs which were found having chowed down on the True Cross in the Faroe Islands, the Death Watch beetle. The Shepherds hid the Cross when they discovered the Nazis were trying to clone humans because they wanted to do so using the blood of Christ.
And then we are granted the sight of His Holy DNA spiraling upon a computer screen in the Lab of Villainy.
Hank and Laila have a martial-type spat regarding Hank's plan to rescue his not-dad. She insists, "You know you once said to me that you would do anything if I asked," reminding him - and us - that she is still a Hot Girl even if she's not utilizing any particular fu at this time. Sensibly, Hank points out that no matter where they would run to, they would be pursued. But I think it's too late for the beautiful one (Laila is aptly-named) and his FEELINGS! for her.
Meanwhile, the Lab of Villainy and discussion of The Final Solution, er, plan. Mommy Locust announces the return of noted scientist Roland Galliston, however she doesn't believe his explanation for his interestingly-timed appearance and WV gets all thuggish, sensing he can at least step back into his old role as the enforcer once more. Riley shows up at the Media Empire with one of the hazmat canisters and she's still under the impression that Molars was once her husband rather than a Deep Cover Lying Liar Who Lies, but she's figured out that the canister points to the agenda of The 41 Trust and the Scoobies enact their research-fu once more.
Hank's dad is stalling again and is visited by WV who confronts him, revealing that he remembers who Roland is, and his part in WV's continued existence (which he may or may not be grateful for). Riley asks where Laila is, and we see she has gone out for forged identification and documentation for herself and Hank, still hoping she can convince him to disappear with her. But really, she should know that her Skeptical Schlub is on a Mission from The God He Doesn't Believe In to try and save his not-dad. Because he's the good guy.
Back at the Lab of Villainy, WV plays host for Roland's This Is Your Life as we see via flashback how the rescue operation came to pass, but not without sacrifice. Knowing that WV's freaky-ass sclera is going to give the whole game away, there is an incredibly sad scene where he is delivered to the orphanage from the past flashbacks (it's dark and snowing, what is this, Dickens?) and we understand why WV has referred to Hank as "brother" whenever they've met. Hank's blood is what they want, that's what makes him the device. To quote any number of vampires, the Blood is the Life (they seek to recreate).
Hank makes a connection with one of the Modern Skeptic magazine covers (See, the Media Empire is relevant to our interests!) and leaves Laila a message saying he thinks he knows where to find Roland. He goes out to a certain spot by the harbor and is nastily ambushed by WV, who apparently doesn't truly apprehend the meaning of "brotherly love."
Now to the good (scoring) stuff: again there are lots of great action cues in this episode given all the crosscutting scenes and so forth, but what really caught my ear was an interesting ambient cue, although I wonder if it was one of Paul's.
